Hi. I’m Fluffy. My friend Milkshake calls me The Idiot Cat. Sometimes I listen to music and then I write about it and The Food Guy puts my writing on the Winternet. The Winternet is like a big litter box. Everybody in the world poops in it and then they all sit around and look at everyone else’s poop. And speaking of litter boxes, I forgot where mine was for a few weeks, so The Food Guy took me and Milkshake to the doctor. Milkshake said “I don’t know why I have to go to the doctor, I’m not the one who’s been peeing all over the house” and The Food Guy said “Milkshake, just shut up and get in your crate.”
Anyway, the doctor said I was stressed about something so she gave me some Kitty Prozac. The Food Guy put out some extra litter boxes so I would always have one nearby, and I got under the bed with my green yarn and chilled out listening to some cool bands from North Carolina. I don’t know where North Carolina is, but The Food Guy said it’s close to where I lived when I was a kitten, which was near Mylanta, Georgia. Wherever that is.
The first band I listened to is called Aunt Sis. They have a new album out called These People. My favorite song is ‘I Want Everything.’ It is about someone who has a lot of stuff but isn’t as happy as he could be. He wants to be more like his sister. I think this song is about me. I have food and lots of toys and a nice house but then I went and peed all over it. I should relax and be more like my friend Milkshake. Of course Milkshake wasn’t very relaxed when I was going all over the house, especially when The Food Guy blamed her for it. The Food Guy was like, “Milkshake, what is your major malfunction?” And Milkshake was like, “Hey, man, I haven’t done anything but if you keep this up I’m gonna claw the heck out of the sofa!”
You can download These People, or buy the CD, on Bandcamp. And visit Aunt Sis on their Facebook page! Or is that her Facebook page? I don’t know anymore; it’s all pretty confusing with these bathroom laws and all. I mean, I have enough trouble figuring out where to use the bathroom without worrying about what ginger I am. Sometimes humans just make things too complicated.
A couple of the guys in Aunt Sis are also in a band called The Sweets. Or maybe they were, I don’t know. Anyway, Milkshake and The Food Guy interviewed The Sweets a couple of years ago. Last October they put out a new album. The Food Guy meant to review it but he never got around to it. Just like sometimes he never gets around to cleaning my litter box which is maybe why I decided that the kitchen table would be a nicer place to use the bathroom. It was hard to pick one favorite on this album so here are two good songs.
The Food Guy calls The Sweets’ sound ‘NC Surf’ and he thinks it is a big deal that he invented that label. I wish he would spend less time thinking about the interesting things he has thought and more time thinking about whether a cat really wants litter that is scented with Glade air freshener. If I was an Outdoor Cat I would not use the bathroom on the flowers, I would just go and dig in the dirt. Think about that, Food Guy.
The last band I want to tell you about is called Petey. Their latest album, The Flying Dutchman, was released last summer. This music will really get your paws moving! The Food Guy says it sounds like the Ramones, the Clash, and Richard Hell all got together but I’m not sure The Food Guy ever knows exactly what he is talking about. After all, this is the person who gave me and Milkshake a covered litter box. You don’t see lions and tigers going into a cave to poop. No, they live in the cave and go outside to poop.
The best song on the album is ‘Fresca.’ The Food Guy says Fresca is something people drink so they don’t get fat. I have no idea what the song is about because I can’t understand the words. On their Bandcamp page, Petey says, “All of the lyrics are about: Fresca, driving our cars, friends from high school, our dads, our friends dads, our friends dads individual relationships with fresca, partyin, Fresca.” Whatever it is about, it’s a good song and I enjoyed listening to it and imagining myself playing the guitar which might be a problem since my pads aren’t very good for fretwork.
So that is my review. After I listened to these bands I felt better about myself and maybe I felt better about The Food Guy, too. So I took my ball of green yarn to him so he could play with it. Everything is better with yarn!